Perfected :: Her Body :: Greek Necessity :: Deep Throats :: Scrolls

Trembling Before G-d I only picked the flyer up casually outside the Cameo cinema yesterday. 'Trembling Before G-d', "A loving and fearless testament to faith, survival and the universal struggle to belong". It's a documentary about how gay people operate within orthodox Jewish societies, directed by Sandi Simcha Dubowski. He did a Q&A session after the film with Steven Greenberg, the first openly gay orthodox rabbi as well as Ednibrgh's rabbi. I was virtually in tears by the end, even though the documentary itself wasn't particularly harrowing. It was the day to day minutiae of discrimination that they faced that got to me - a man's conversation, 20 years later, with the rabbi who suggested he seek counseling for his 'problem', the blurred faces hidden from view. Worst of all was a man, 58 years old, who confessed with a shaking voice, 'I miss my daddy'. He hadn't spoken to his family for decades, his only letter had been ignored. Finally, over the course of the film, he wrote again. He recieved a letter and a phonecall from his father. It made me so grateful that my whole coming out experience was so painless, so without angst. My mother had been asking me since I was 12 years old, 'You would tell me if you were gay, wouldn't you?' I remember, with aching clarity, the first time she asked me. Casually, in the car, after I brought up a magazine article I'd read. I felt chilled to my very bones, a lead weight in my stomach and all I could think was 'she knows!' *I* barely knew. After that, it was all pretty easy. She told Dad for me. He has no recollection of this, and was mildly surprised when I mentioned it to him. Apparently he didn't think of me as having any kind of static sexuality - since I'd had rabid crushes on women but dated boys, it makes sense. Even though I had to prompt my mother to tease me and ask me questions about girls, she does it. They met my first girlfriend and asked about my last one. Vague mentions of someone I'm interested in were met with 'So you won't be spending much time with us this summer then?' and a knowing smirk. I don't have a religious community to reject me. I came out during a Christian Theology lesson at a Catholic school to no criticism whatsoever, from teachers or pupils. It was just...accepted. I can't help feeling that if you just showed this film to every goddamn religious organisation in the world, prove we're people and not just a passage in Leviticus, we'd have taken a big step on the path to somewhere a lot more tolerant. ______________________________ we have come so far :: it is over

Accomplishment :: The Moon :: Toga :: Night Flower