Perfected :: Her Body :: Greek Necessity :: Deep Throats :: Scrolls

If I told you the right words, at the right time, you'd be mine. I let something go once. Or else, I think I did. I never really *knew* what I could have, what I was allowed, and I still don't. But it's made me wary of letting anything go ever since. I just want to feel. Feel something, no matter what it is, to prove I'm alive and living in this world. So I drive too fast, too late at night (or too early in the morning) in a car with a friend who openly admits to obsessing over me and who I know I can't fall asleep around. I pretend I hate the people who give me what I ask for because I can't bear wanting it. My life isn't a fairytale. I'm not waiting to be rescued, I'd rather save myself. Leave the castle with it's centuries old sleeping occupants and rip my way through the briars to the outside world until my hands are torn and bleeding because at least that way I'll have something to show for my effort. Because I cannot accept that things can be easy, that I can get something for free. That the looks from blue eyes the colour of a glacial winter's sky across a crowded room mean something. That maybe I am attracting the attention I want, or maybe not. It's easier if I think I'm just imagining it, if I tell myself that I want her because she is a composite of every women I have ever loved or wanted to love. But even if I cannot sneak kisses under the mistletoe at Christmas, or at the twelfth stroke on the 31st of December, at least I can light my cold room with the flame of a rose scented candle and hope. But you can say baby, Baby can I hold you tonight? Baby if I told you the right words, At the right time, You'd be mine. ______________________________ we have come so far :: it is over

Accomplishment :: The Moon :: Toga :: Night Flower